What role is the food playing?

I found this little screen shot and it made me laugh.

So, as I mentioned, I've been going back to LighterLife group meetings for a while now but I definitely have not been following the programme.  I am losing weight, though, albeit slowly.

The reason I go to group is that I think the quality of the counselling/group work is pretty phenomenal. There are lots of insights every week and I vow to post them on here, then the week whizzes by and suddenly I'm back at group.

We have had a lot of the 'head' chat in group, which, if you've done LighterLife, won't come as any surprise. The people in my group are really interested in making changes (for the better) and there seems to be a real hunger (absolutely no pun intended) for knowledge.

I go looking (and hoping) for answers.

One of the big discussions we had was around social dining and the challenge of abstinence.  I cleared my diary when I did LighterLife the first time round and every social event seemed to be a mental challenge of the highest order.  I remember going to a buffet (or that's how it was presented but it was a sit down meal) and I had to sit through three courses and justify my mad diet!  Then there was a friend's birthday - someone who knew I was not on food but insisted I had cake - which was, of course, all about her.  But, guess what? Often I didn't say 'no' because I just couldn't get into the whole debate.  And if there's one thing I know, people LOVE to comment on what you're eating (or not eating) as two decades of vegetarianism taught me.

Anyway, the point of this was that our Counsellor reminded us that if this is how we will be, out of abstinence, not wanting to be assertive (ie putting other people first) then we will always struggle with our weight ie struggle to keep it down.

That really, really spoke to me. Of course, it's about boundaries.  It's about a lot of stuff that Geneen Roth talks about.  So often, I've gone along with things for fear of being...I don't know, different.  What was also interesting to hear was the perspective of people who don't behave like that; they are confident enough to say what they want. Or don't want.  This was particularly true of those people who don't drink at all.  No social pressure on them to have just one more because they don't touch alcohol.  

Of course, taken in isolation, one cake or one extra helping or a whole pizza - whatever it is, won't make you put on pounds overnight.  But if that behaviour is repeated, time and time again, then the scales won't be going in the downward direction...

The group has also been discussing TA (transactional analysis) and scripts.  Apparently, we all have life scripts and continue to look for evidence to support the scripts.  I can't do this theory justice because I haven't read up on it myself but I am determined to find out more.

The other area that we have discussed is that moment of madness when you want to eat (or drink or smoke, I guess, if that's your thing).  You have that whole dialogue (Lesley would call it her chimp, I think) and whoever wins, you still feel rubbish.  If you give in you feel defeated and if you don't, you feel exhausted from the effort to stay focused and on track.  Apparently, this moment is called the impulse/action collapse. Again, I really don't know much about it but am itching to find out more.

I think this post is a bit rambling...not unlike my brain, right now.  But if any of it does make sense or whets your appetite (for knowledge) then that has to be a good thing.

How is everyone doing?

Comments

[Claire]

Hello! Good to see you. I thought the life scripts bit was very interesting. Got me thinking. xxx

[Lesley]

I'm feeling ready for another refresher course/reminder/diet push as have been cruising mindlessly recently. Thanks for the inspiration hon.

Lesley xx

[Fionna]

Where o where are you?

[janine aka slimmer bridezilla as once was]

hope you are ok x miss you