I had another freak out moment. Apparently, the latest thinking on BMI is that 18.5-20 is healthy for adult women. NB our LLC said that a BMI of 17 something is borderline anorexic but still, it’s a startling thought!
My weight at BMI 20 is 8 stone 11 – a weight I may have been as a child and that’s it. Bearing that in mind, WHAT will it be at 18.5? 8 stone3lbs (just checked) At BMI 25, it’s 11 stone on the nose so that’s one stone away, which is achievable.
I am desperately trying to have a balanced view here. But judging by my size now, I know I won’t be happy at 11 stone.
Another thing that our LLC said us that we should try to go all the way as stopping before we have, makes it doubly hard to start again.
She also said – in relation to someone defecting to CD – was that this was when crooked thinking kicks in big time. And we must be aware.
I said that I thought the mental side was getting harder. What was interesting was that she said you think you are hungrier but you are not. You have all the nutrition you need. You think you are bored by the flavours but foodpacks are just that – nutrition.
The slimmest girls in the group are also losing weight at a slower rate now and that worries me. Physically, I am not sure I could do another two months on Development and then three months on Management. It’s not the foodpacks – it’s the logistics of being in abstinence for even longer – the practicalities. The thing is I really want to stick with my LLC – I like her manner and approach. I’d LIKE to see it through to the end with her. I know it won’t be like Weight Watchers, Rosemary Conley or Slimmer’s World where you get to goal and everyone cheers – not that I’d EVER managed that – but I know people who have!
The other thing she talked about is finding a weight that you are happy with and that you can MAINTAIN. This is more of the unknown.
I don’t know what my final weight will be – 8’11 seems beyond comprehension to be honest. I can’t even imagine what I’ll be like and what I will and won’t be eating to maintain that weight.
Rationally I know that I can’t agonise about it – that will get me nowhere. Emotionally, I am feeling all over the place. Also I realise that I am feeling incredibly vulnerable. I saw a lovely friend today but now that’s another person who knows.
I feel the more who know, the less chance I have of success – an inverse relationship. I think it’s because – in the past – I've gone public, got support and then put on all the weight or given up or…or…or.
This time I want to keep it as private possible (living in a different location helps) so that I can just get on with it without being distracted by people, their questions, etc etc. I guess I am also putting off the feelings of deprivation that I anticipate I will feel if I socialise with friends (because I can't have what they are having).
Am I lucky that being removed allows me to stay on track or am I setting myself up for a big fall when I enter the real world of friends and loved ones and suddenly can't cope?
Try not to assume that just because something happened in the past, it will happen again. This diet is already different, as you said in an earlier (but recent post) you have already exceeded your expectations - there is no reason to think you can't suceed at this diet however many people know you're on it. The fact is, you're doing really well and you're learning masses about yourself and your motivations.
I agree with your LLC that we have to get to OUR goal. Now that doesn't have to be BMI of 20 or something daft - it just has to be what YOU say it is, when you know. I'm setting a low target but also saying that I may move it upwards if, when I get near, I'm happy at the higher weight. That's because I suspect I will be too thin at 10 and a half stone. If I'm a slim size 12 at 11 stone, I'll stop then.
BUT I will reach my target. I think that is CRUCIAL. Really. And I think doing Maintenance will be crucial too. As this diet is not all about weight loss, a good part of it is about suceeding. I know you can do it and am looking forward to standing up and cheering when I hear that you do (even if I'm at work!).
Lesley x
Posted by: Lesley | May 24, 2007 at 11:11 PM
My LLC also thought it best to get to where we want to be before stopping abstinence, as there is enough to think about whilst doing management without worrying about weight loss. I think there's a lot to be said for that approach although there may be other factors for some. As for where you want to be - can be tricky. I wanted to be approximately the weight I was at university because I knew that worked for me. I wonder where this 18.5-20 BMI came from? I had heard a healthy BMI for women was 19-23 but this new one seems very low as <18.5 is supposed to be underweight. Around 19/20 is fine for me as I'm really small framed but I don't think it would work for people with a larger frame.
As for rate of loss - I lost 20lbs the 1st 4 weeks, 16lbs the 2nd 4 (which took me to BMI 24.9) then 15lbs the next 4, so the rate doesn't necessarily slow down too much.
I can relate to your feelings about keeping it private. I confess I find it difficult when people (especially those who haven't seen me for a while) react to my weight loss because a)I hate fuss and b)it reminds me about how bad I looked before!
Posted by: goombagirl | May 25, 2007 at 06:31 PM
I've reset my goal - it was 10 stone (just picked a round figure) but I've moved it to 9 stone now - I'm only 5'1" so this takes me to a bmi of 25 ... I'd ideally like to be a couple of pound less so that I'm not always verging on going over the top of bmi 25. Saying that though I can't really remember how it felt being 9 stone (been 20 years now) so I may get to 9st 7lb and think that that's where I want to be ... I'm just reckoning on the fact that I'll know what I want when I get there.
Cath
x
Posted by: Cath | May 26, 2007 at 10:14 PM