I didn't know what to expect of Development 2 AND I nearly didn't make it because the trains to London were f***ed. My boss couldn't get in for a meeting and the traffic (for those with cars) was horrendous.
Anyway, when I got off the Tube I saw one of my Foundation friends who didn't make it last week so tonight was her first Development. We haven't seen each other for three weeks. We greeted each other with much amusement and she uttered the immortal line, "Well, who is this pencil?!" It made me smile; we really are both much smaller than when we first met. We hugged and walked to class. (This is significant and you'll understand why as you read on.) En route, we saw another Foundation friend who is still in Foundation - she had to change her days so restarted with another group. She was blown away by us both and because she is struggling, she said we were inspiration. That was so nice - for us and for her - I think.
When we got to our LLC's house, there were new people who are long-term members of this Development group but this time I didn't feel nervous (of the new people). So that's progress.
It was the same setup as last week - we sit around talking while we all get weighed - individually - and pick up our orders (ordered ahead). There is definitely an odd feeling in the room; I can't quite pinpoint what it is but when I look back at the session as a whole, it's was clearly one of two halves. It had an uptight air to it and I can't work out if it's certain people's issues that are colouring the whole atmosphere or whether it's the fact that some people are really struggling and Development is all about waiting and feeling as if you are in between. It's limbo time, isn't it? Foundation is over and if you have a lot of weight to lose, you're in for the long haul.
In Foundation, even if you don't have the same amount of weight to lose, you all start together. And you all finish together - well, those who stay the distance do. In Development, you may start and see people just going and vice versa, just as you may be finishing, new people will be starting. If Development proves to be hard, it must be even harder to see new Foundation people arriving, full of optimism and "fizz" (Katie Hopkins word from The Apprentice!!). And if you are in Development for a very long time, just as it's good to be able to wow the newbies with your amazing weight loss, it must be hard to know you still have some way to go.
This may explain why there were several comments last week along the lines of "well, that's such a fresh from Foundation set of answers". I didn't get it last week. Now I do.
Anyway, I was feeling upbeat because I had seen my Foundation friends and, yes, it felt familiar. My FF and I also took some photos of each other to mark our 100 days. I didn't see it as a celebration but I just really wanted to document it.
After what seemed like a long time, our LLC came into the room and said that as there were lots of new faces (people coming back, new Foundation people, etc), it might be good to introduce ourselves, reveal our weight losses and explain how we are feeling today.
What struck me about THIS session was how upbeat most people were feeling; it reminded me of Foundation 1 when most of the group were looking forward to wearing summer clothes. And to give you some perspective on the weight losses, at 3stone6lbs down, we (FF and I) are the lowest losers by a long way. Five stone is the average. I don't see it as a competition but I wanted to demonstrate that these women have serious weight losses under their belts and THAT is impressive; not the weight losses themselves but the changes that these losses have made to their lives. The Developers are living their lives differently or making big changes that are beneficial to them. The weight losses have freed them.
If someone mentioned something that was pertinent to all, our LLC discussed it further. So, tonight, for example we looked at the Cycle of Change. In the yellow Development book this is described thus:
"Cycle of change: review how you came to decided to take action towards your new, healthier, lighter future - and how lapsing can be one of the most important times of growth and learning".
Our LLC had a nifty little diagram of the Cycle of Change and she gave some brilliant examples of the various stages; of course, I was so busy trying to copy it in my Development Notebook (also yellow) that I didn't catch everything she said.
I am going to post separately about CoC, particularly for those of you not doing LL (Chris and Mel and Claire).
We compared Foundation, Development and Management with each other; F & D are all about understanding how you got to the bigger weight whilst getting smaller and then Management is all about holding that new weight.
I think there is a sense that the tools from Foundation will be making a regular appearance - thought records, crooked thinking, etc, etc.
For the strugglers, there was this message - abstinence is all or nothing. It IS a sacrifice BUT you have to weigh up what you are giving up with what you want to get more of (health, slim figure, whatever, whatever).
Development is slim on the ground for new "toys" - we just get one yellow book (nothing like the opus that is the green book!) and a yellow notebook. The yellow course book is full of medical certificates and a sample menu of what we can expect in Development, so here they are:
Crossing the River
Cycle of Change
The Pros and Cons of Change
Egograms (continued from Foundation)
Awareness
Discounting (I want to work on this as I didn't really get it during Foundation)
Core Beliefs (as above)
Self-care - definitely one for EVERYONE!
Reflections
Boundaries
Assertiveness
Miracle Day.
So, a cheeky taster of what is to come.
Oh yes, the end of Development 2. I was the last person to speak so there wasn't much time. I talked about feeling very uneasy about receiving compliments (APART FROM fellow LighterLifers), about being out of control and generally...feeling as if I was on a runaway train. Of course, extreme tiredness did not help!
This time I did NOT cry during Development but I did manage to weep all the way to the mainline station. I shall document that separately.
So, it started well and ended up opening the biggest can of worms. Gosh, I can't wait for more!
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