Well, I think I have got into the swing of this Development malarkey. It really is rehab for fatties, no two ways about it.
For the third week running, I have had to introduce myself and talk about my weight loss to date, blah, blah, blah. This was for the benefit of the new person in our midst but it didn’t add up, initially, because we know that Foundation has finished and we are too early for yet more Foundation people to join us. So how come we had a solitary newbie?
It turns out that the new person did Foundation and then went off the rails.
There was much talk of abstinence – AGAIN – and less chat about how people fell off the wagon, which they did – me included, of course.
Lots of people WEREN’T there tonight yet we struggled to have enough time so am not sure how we will fit it all in if we all make it to class again, particularly when the current Development groups merge into one. Will it be standing room only? I guess not because our LLC, as I keep saying, runs a very tight ship!
Two things struck me about tonight; since we are in abstinence, or supposed to be, any persistent rule breakers are NOT tolerated!
Two people have come back having lapsed – one AFTER Foundation ( the solitary newbie) – and one during Development, I think. Anyway, neither did Management. BUT (sorry, so many caps, tonight) the repeated lapser has been told that if she is not in ketosis next week, she must go straight to Management. A sort of three strikes and you’re out. Our LLC said this was about boundaries – for the person concerned and for our LLC. Has this happened to anyone else? I have to say I was fascinated and, of course, understanding why it must be so. It seems fair enough.
Then the new person introduced herself and we heard her story. It seems that one meal really was her undoing. I was fascinated – again (!) because I have read about such people who have fallen off the wagon from one meal and never really understood how this is possible. Of course, it wasn’t the meal that she had to eat (her words, not mine) that undid her, it was the chocolates in the hotel, later that day. The reason that I know this is because I asked her! Outright. Both our LLC and one of the Developers tackled her crooked thinking and challenged her to think again.
The underlying message from both of them and presented in different ways was that unless this person changed her mindset, she would not succeed. Well, you just can’t argue with that but I did think the successful Developer who tackled Solitary Newbie was very brave to be so upfront. It was a necessary discussion but…I would not have been so bold, however passionate I may feel.
My fellow Foundation chums all had bad weeks; the three of us have lost 3stone7lbs, 3stone8lbs and 3stone9lbs respectively. I found that a bit spooky. We are so close to each other, aren’t we?
When I look back at my notes from the session, there is still so much more to say! One thing that my Foundation Friend said was that the shorter session is very noticeable and I agree; we just can’t seem to cover everything, yet all we seem to have done for three weeks is introduce ourselves!!
Tonight I had to say my name, my weightloss to date, what have I gained the most from losing the weight and how my week has been. As it was so close to the end of the session, I tried to keep it short.
There had been many comments – before me - about how clothes shopping is a joy, how compliments are a double-edged sword and…how great it is being smaller. Hmmm. I just don't feel like that.
I said that although this is a food programme, the biggest thing for me is how it has made me feel mentally. I explained that I still have massive issues about compliments but that “I’m ok with that” and I said that I had managed to pull myself back after a bad week. But, funnily enough, I am beginning to get a sense of the real me; yes, I am!!!
It’s just a fleeting feeling but I can’t help but imagine that by losing the blubber, I will find the real me – somewhere! Or the real meal will emerge. I don’t feel as if I am there yet BUT just to get those fleeting feelings is a good sign, I think.
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