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August 10, 2007

Comments

Vicky

Unfortunately, it rings lots of bells Mrs.! I have also played the victim/rescuer/prosecutor game all my life. Reading your post made me realise that I've mostly played the rescuer, since I was born to a 'victim' mother.

Recently, I did a life coach course and one day the coach asked me who were the 'villains' in my life. In other words, who I have been blaming for years for my unhappiness. I gave him a long list (!) and then he started talking about how I have always had the freedom to choose how to respond to their demands etc. In other words, it's not them being the bad ones, it was me choosing to respond in a certain way. I can't tell you how much this helped me realise what I've been doing. Suddenly, my parents, some friends, old bosses, became 'human' instead of tyrrans that wanted to spoil my life! And since then, I've tried to think about my reactions to 'villains' and stop jumping back to old habits and behaviours.

You are right - there's no way we will ever succeed in our life journey if we keep playing the victims, because victims don't have a choice... but we DO!

Lots of love and hugs! Have a lovely weekend and be brave on Sunday evening. I'll be thinking of you!

Vxxx

Cerulean (Sarah)

Sending you lots of TLC inducing vibes...

The drama triangle stuff is weird for me at the moment because one of my LL coping strategies has been to remove myself from all that. To the degree that when I returned home I couldn't cope with being around people and was absolutely vile. (Persecuter - which was an odd role for sweet little old me to take, I can tell you!)

I think I have so much of my own stuff to get through that I'm leaving the interaction with other people til the end.

You seem to me a classic rescuer...you always seem to be doing, especially for other people (even on here :)) - I never would have seen the victim in you...but then neither did you!

Thanks Mrs - v. thought provoking - off to read now.

S
x

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