Oh Abstinence, How I Have Missed You!

Well, the scales showed another 2lb 'gain' today, which I registered (mentally).

I knew it would only be a matter of time before the crap shoved in my mouth would be reflected on the scales. She who eats biscuits...must face the consequences!

Living with the expert friend aka lodger has had untold benefits, in spite of the chaotic eating.

Last night we did a recycling run, much to our own amusement as well as a charity shop run - more and more stuff is leaving the house and yes, it IS liberating!

If you are a FlyLady fan, you'll know that house clutter and body clutter are seen as symptoms of the same problem so I had hoped by tackling one, the other would...miraculously sort itself out. But it hasn't and the signs are there - weight creeping back on.

So it was time for ACTION. This morning, I woke up, felt even more lardy, felt overwhelmed by work (deadlines) and the thought of travelling into London to see a much-loved friend followed by a LighterLife meeting. And I did something that I have never done during this diet - I let the scales dictate my decision about whether to attend or not.

I wasn't feeling particularly on top form, angry at myself for letting another deadline slip, angry at myself for overindulging and slipping further from my goal weight and just generally rubbish.

So the expert friend asked me how I could turn today around! Now, a simple enough question but extremely powerful and when I broke it down, I realised I could get my work done in about five hours (new deadline) with "10 minutes max" of discomfort. My 'reward' would be to tackle paper mountain and focus on the house stuff since we are meeting the builder on Friday and I absolutely must be on top of everything. At the moment, paperwork is in several boxes in two different rooms.

So I decided to do abstinence today (but allowing for milk in my tea, which I did for much of Foundation, anyway). I am choosing abstinence for two reasons - for the weight gain, OBVIOUSLY but also, because I just couldn't face the mental effort required to sort out breakfast, lunch and supper. And because I haven't done Route to Management properly, I have no idea what is going to work for me in the long run.

I've talked about returning to Week 4 or 5 but then not done anything about it. Route to Management is a golden opportunity to get my head round a different way of eating...for life.

I've also got a few goals of my own that I want to achieve:

First, I really want to cut myself some slack for Christmas - Peridot you were right! We are going to be entertaining and yes, I will watch what I eat but I'd like to enjoy my food - without guilt, if possible.

Second, I am going to see the Spice Girls in early January. I am going with some friends (it was my birthday present) and I want to make a night of it. I want to go to that gig and NOT feel fat, not feel even slightly lardy - I want to feel...FANTASTIC. I want to be able to dance around and feel great in MY skin and not look at Geri (Halliwell) and think...if only!! The friends I am going with are a fit looking bunch of people and for once, I don't want to be the fat friend. This will be a first for me - a gig when I don't feel lardy.

Third, in February, it will be my one-year LighterLife anniversary. I want to sit in that session (class) and know that I HAVE done Route to Management and that I have learnt as much as possible (and more) about how I can treat my body in the best way that I can.

Fourth, on New Year's Eve, I'd like to feel full of hope; last year, I had bronchitis (again!), my weight was getting out of control again and I was miserable. I wasn't looking forward to the year ahead particularly but I was aware that something was going to have to give. Wouldn't it be amazing to see in 2008, feeling more alive than I have for years? Wouldn't it be liberating to be contemplating a year of weight maintenance rather than knowing that losing weight had to be on the agenda but being in complete denial at the same time?

Route to Management IS the missing link and a couple of comments on here and on the forum make me realise I just haven't done it in a way that's going to help.

I know, without any doubt, that my ideal weight is 9 and a half stone. If I toned up, I could be a size 10 on my bottom half and 12 on top. I don't know how much toning I can do of the loose skin - we'll have to see but if I could increase my fat burning capacity, it's got to help, hasn't it? At the moment, size 12 is...snug (my one and only skirt being my gauge).

The expert friend and I are going to the gym tomorrow; I am EXCITED! This is such a golden opportunity for me - to have this expertise on hand. I am so lucky and any gems that I pick up, I really want to share.

In the meantime, here's a reminder of why abstinence (and ultimately eating in a healthy way) works:

Time - it's a no brainer - if you plan your meals, you don't waste precious time, staring into the fridge wondering what to have. You have MORE time!

Mental Relaxation - a few times I HAVE wanted to eat, sometimes through genuine hunger but more often as a distraction. Again, if the food is planned, you know what you are having and you don't torture yourself about stuff you've eaten/shouldn't have eaten/should have eaten.

Sensing REAL physical hunger - it's been great to feel genunine hunger again, particularly as I am not in ketosis. I have eaten little and often today - I haven't stuck to four packs rigidly - I've just chosen packs when the hunger has been there.

Drinking water - this has been my schoolgirl error. I didn't drink enough water; I am sure that would have helped with the hunger.

Body awareness - as I can't override my tiredness with food, I can tell when I need a break. This evening I had to stop at 5.45pm. I needed a rest so I am sitting on my bed with my laptop and I feel better for it.

All of the above can be done with food from Route to Management; I absolutely know it can. So, I need to find out how!

So, comrades, onwards to victory.

Lesley - not sure if you are going back to RtM guidelines or sticking with your trainer's plan - I couldn't tell from your blog. But let's cheer each other on!

And someone else who shall not be named but can be if they wish, is embarking on the RtM route, too.

Let's get it nailed!

Comments

[Glam]

Hey! Thanks for popping by my blog. Glad I could help motivate!

Good luck at the gym. Sounds like you mean business also!

And can I just say I am JEALOUS that you're going to see the Spice Girls. Shamefully, I'm a fan from back in the day. They're a guilty pleasure. I can't help myself!

I love your list of guidelines -- I too need to drink more water!