Last year, when I was in the middle of my VLCD abstinence programme, I had an epiphany. As I went to Starbucks to purchase a coffee and a skinny blueberry muffin, I realised it wasn't about being hungry for food, it was about being hungry for company. Really hungry.
It was at that moment that I made the connection - for the first time - that I really am a people person and that working solo, is not for me. Not at all. It is, quite possibly, the very worst type of working environment for a people person to hang out. Working alone is lonely. Or can be. And boy, I realised, I was very lonely last summer and ironically, that's what I had been doing for 9 years. Is it any wonder that sadness and loneliness translated into serious poundage?
That loneliness was evident for all to see. But I just didn't make that connection. How I wish I had listened to my HR manager, when I left my old job; "you will miss the people" she said, but I wasn't listening, was I?
I was just desperate to get out.
Anyway, Mrs Jupiter's visit co-incided with some career chat (along with the self-acceptance chat) and she advised me to just do some lightweight temping. Nothing heavy. No teams to manage. No BIG projects to deliver. Just office admin', which was mindless and give me the space to have a break...from myself!
There is no doubt that last year has taken its toll and I don't say that lightly. I threw myself into LighterLife - it was totally enlightening, liberating. exhilirating (at times) but it was also draining, mentally exhausting, challenging, lonely, tough, and sometimes, just bl**dy hard. The house also took its toll and then there were all the poorly-paid but totally demanding jobs that I was also doing. That just caused exhaustion and resentment so not a happy mix.
Anyway, anyway, with Mrs J's advice at the front of my mind, I registered with two local recruitment agencies. It's ridiculous but I was SOOOO nervous. And I used to do this ALL THE TIME. My CV is now...doing the rounds! Yesterday was an eye opener; I did a Word test first. Now, while not being a Word expert, it's something I have used for years. But, I realise, only to type letters, a dissertation, and a few invitations. The Word Test was an exercise in job humiliation. I felt myself go redder and redder as I pressed "SKIP QUESTION" several times. The Excel Test was just a huge joke and my data entry, while 99% accurate was below average! You have to laugh. Fortunately, the recruiters didn't seem to think that this was a problem! Hoorah!
As we discussed roles and rates, I realised the world of work has changed, changed, changed. I used to temp in the City in the 80s and 90s and earn very good money. Now, apparently, I'll be lucky to get £6 an hour, if I stay locally. If I'm prepared to venture out (requiring travel) I could enter the dizzy heights of £10 an hour! When I said I could earn more cleaning, the recruitment consultant agreed! But, of course, it won't solve the loneliness issue, will it?!
We had a chat and it soon dawned on me that this was my reality. The financial side is a major bummer (it's not nearly enough) BUT it's a start. If I work full-time away from the house, I will have to pay for a dog sitter. BUT it also dawned on me that this could be fun. Really good fun! When I was worried about being overqualified, she reassured me that it's all about how I am sold to a prospective employer. It's all about profile and I will be presented as someone who hasn't been in the office environment for a while but who is keen to get back to work. Of course, I don't feel I have stopped "working" but I think this could be just what the doctor ordered. Keep your fingers crossed! I could be temping in an office near you! xx
Wowzers - that could be a big change and who knows where it might lead. well done for taking the first step and well done for trying something new(ish) too shake things up.
All the best with the job hunt.
Lesley x
Posted by: Lesley | January 25, 2008 at 08:18 PM
Oh, Mrs L, I know how you feel. I went to some employment agencies last week and am still putting off the dreaded Word and Excel tests. But even £6 an hour would be better than my £59 a week Jobseekers Allowance and, like you, I crave the company. So here's to both of our job hunts xx
Posted by: Alison | January 28, 2008 at 05:05 PM