It's summer. And summer means...weddings!
There is just one wedding on the horizon for me this year - in August. I don't think it's Slimmer Bridezilla's wedding - but, who knows? Stranger things have happened in cyberspace!
Anyway, Lesley has been to a wedding - and posted some fabby pics - and, somehow, somewhere, in the deep, dark depths of my brain is a little alarm bell, getting louder and louder. It's called Wedding Outfit Countdown. And for every wedding I have attended in my life - yes, every single one, including my own, Wedding Outfit Countdown has proved to be a massive, crushing blow to any self-esteem I may have had at the time.
You know the score - the fat person's ultimate nightmare - what to wear when there's not much you can wear? And when you wear just what you could find rather than what you wanted to wear, well, you just feel even worse.
Since losing the weight, I haven't been to a wedding with people I know. I'll be honest; if this wedding were one of my friend's, I wouldn't worry SO much. But when it's one of my husband's friends who are getting hitched, I really do panic. When we went to the wedding in January, I literally knew two people - and one of those was my husband. So, in my mind, THAT wedding doesn't count!
I've always felt like the fat frumpy wife and have often fantasised about rocking up at a wedding with my husband's friends and just looking fabulous. Well. slim! Or pregnant. Actually, what I have really wanted to do is just NOT feel ashamed or apologetic (about myself) and feel comfortable in my own skin! Aha!
Anyway, this wedding is the last chance for me to have the fantasy moment when my husband's friends see my potential. It's not a vanity thing; I really had hoped to have been pregnant at this wedding but it was not to be. It's a self-preservation thing; I want to feel as if I have done my husband proud. All the wives are quite opinionated, to be honest.
It's a wedding in the North East again and it's going to be a very stylish wedding. All the others have been big but down to earth affairs. This one will be all about making a statement (this wedding is SOOO dictated by the bride!). But then, what wedding isn't?!
I will want to wear something understated. Less is more and all that. I could, in theory, get away with wearing the same outfit as I wore for the winter wedding. I would just need to lose 21lbs. Yes, that's one and a half stone. The wedding is in less than six weeks' time. Actually, it's in five weeks' time as I have just checked the calendar.
It's do-able. It's TOTALLY do-able. BUT as we all know, actually doing it is a different matter altogether! Inwardly, I am groaning. Yet ANOTHER weight-loss target. There's also a huge part of me that's saying, for goodness sake, get over yourself and go as you are. There will still be noticeable differences to the last time I saw all these people. There's another part of me that says I am DONE with dieting!
But do you know what? I would really like to have some lovely photos of me and my husband together. It will be around the time of our anniversary (of starting to date!!!). I would also like to get this weight stuff nailed!
So, somehow, somewhere, I want to find the strength to give it the final push! It won't be abstinence. It won't be any particular thing - in fact, I don't know what it will be. Yet.
Yes, all pressure shopping for special occasions is stressful - weddings, black tie (even more of a nightmare) etc Perhaps try a personal shopper experience in Debenhams or John Lewis? It's good to have a fresh perspective of what suits you.
And hats off to you if you think you can lose a stone and a half in 5 weeks - that's amazing. Wish I could do that! What's your secret?
love
Peridot x
Posted by: Peridot | July 07, 2008 at 11:13 AM
Hi Mrs L
It is this August (AAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGGH)
Which means to be vaguely happy on the wedding photos I need to get at least another stone off! I know exactly how you feel about the outfit thing - I have been in tears historically about such things -have you tried Debenhams - they have some lovely prom dress types which are really flattering! Love your blog - you girls have been a real inspiration to me x
Posted by: janine | July 07, 2008 at 05:31 PM
P.s It would be so weird if it was !
Good luck with your countdown too x
Posted by: janine aka slimmer bridezilla | July 07, 2008 at 05:36 PM
Hi Mrs. I bet you look great as you are now. I'm not saying don't try and drop the lbs if you want to but perhaps don't heap pressure on yourself to do so for a deadline and then feel like a failure because you don't quite make it.
I did that for Fiona's wedding and have to say failed miserably and then went into my little spiral which I'm only now dragging myself out of. Perhaps if I'd been more rational about looking good for the wedding I would have been the same weight but I probably wouldn't have gained another half stone straight after!
When I look back, I did look nice even a stone over where I wanted to be and I shouldn't have added the extra pressure. I had a great time anyway...
I'd start looking for something to wear now, as you are so that you know you will be fine and look good. And then, when the pressure is off, you can try and drop a few lbs without HAVING to. You can always take the 'now' outfit back provided you watch the timing.
Good luck chuck.
Lesley x
Posted by: LesleyLesley | July 07, 2008 at 07:06 PM