So, apologies for the silence.
I spent all morning and a big chunk of the afternoon at the Apple ER, hoping for a miracle. And the prayers and stroking of the computer paid off! So far. Yes, I was literally stroking it as the specialist started his tests on the machine!
I was a pathetic figure, sitting at the Genius bar (where they repair broken products in any Apple store) with my vintage goods. My husband had driven me there because he thought I would struggle on the train and the Tube (!) but he was not in a happy mood. I can't blame him; he needed a lie in and I think he had a real sense that this could be it (curtains time!) with the computer. We really do row a lot over technology; I remain technically challenged whilst he can talk the techno geek language with the best of them.
In fact, my husband played a few blinders today and we came out with both machines still functioning. The challenge will be to set up the desktop get it to work here, at home.
I've also done something to my shoulder so I can't turn properly. In fact, there are many things I can't do properly. I'm also pretty annoyed with myself because I really needed to thank my husband for being so thoughtful but because we had lots of mini rows throughout the morning, my attitude of gratitude had run off.
Anyway, anyway, anyway, there has been A LOT going on this week and I'll update you all later. Suffice to say that this week, I told my group that the food wasn't working for me at the moment. I was too stressed to binge. But I had started drinking! I had also lost a pound.
But, after class, I stayed out far too late (NOT drinking though), came home shattered and ate too much - even if it was "healthy"! This morning, as we were both so tired, the eating choices were poor - very poor - and even though I have had a power nap late this afternoon, I am still tired. And ready to eat the world. Because tiredness means resistance is futile.
So, I am going to reproduce a message I left on Peridot's blog, as much as a reminder to myself as a tool to share. Here goes...
"Hello, it's me, checking in from the Mac hospital!!!
There's so much going on here so I am going to just add what I can and hope that it makes sense, based on the sessions we have with my LLC. There are several things that keep coming up for our Management group:
Boundaries - this seems to be the cornerstone of so much. By placing boundaries around us, IN THEORY, we make certain things non-negotiable like the smack table (we don't go there), like the way people treat us (they KNOW not to go there), etc etc. The hardest thing seems to be imposing our own boundaries - my own non-negotiables get regularly blown out of the water.
Thought records - more and more and more I am realising that I don't want to do thought records because I just can't face what I am feeling. But, ironically, by just spending a few mins on the REAL problem, we can avert the vicious cycle of eating something we don't REALLY want, feeling bad about what we've eaten and then, later, feeling bad about the results of eating off piste. Does that make sense?
I love Lesley's idea of rules but the word rules makes me feel very very rebellious!
Lol Mrs Lxxxxxx"
So, it's time to get some serious sleeping done and get back to basics. I am afraid to admit there have been some Drama Queen moments this week, which have worn me out (and my nearest and dearest) . Sometimes, I just need a proper reality check, I really do!
PS - hello to 'J' who posts comments on Lesley's blog and Peridot's blog. Check out her Slimmer Bridezilla blog Good luck with the wedding countdown!! xxx
Yes, you're right about the word "rules"....you used to say non-negotiables I think and that sounds a bit better. I'll work on that...
Glad to hear that your Apples have not bitten the dust too.
You sound perky so have a great week. A nice idea to name-check J - I've been meaning to for ages as I think she really apreciates the support but typically, haven't got round to it...well done.
Lesley x
Lesley x
Posted by: LesleyLesley | July 06, 2008 at 10:57 PM