Topsy Turvy - even Oprah Winfrey is struggling with her weight management

Here's a question; is food the problem or is my brain the issue?

I think I already know the answer!  Don't shout at the screen if you think that's a rash statement ...just read on.

I've been reading some blogs - old friends and new acquaintances - and there is a clear division.  Some of us are struggling while the new people are - justifiably - enjoying their hard-earned weight losses.

Refuse to Regain's blog is clear that "losing weight and maintaining is 90 percent emotional".

Aha.

I don't know if anyone else saw the headlines but Oprah has also written about her struggle with her recent weight gains and finds herself saying 'not again'.   Even Oprah, with her access to the best nutritionists, personal trainers, personal chef...blah blah blah...even she hasn't got it nailed.

One of TonyV's comments on here suggested that there was no 'answer', as such.

If my LighterLife Counsellor were asked this question, she would, I am sure, refer us to the cycle of change, which keeps bringing you back to the starting point when, eventually, you'll learn how to master whatever it is that is holding you back and move on.

I've had such an odd week with food and (lack of) exercise, despite my best intentions.  I haven't been back to the gym.  

I went to see Porkchop on Tuesday/Wednesday and we had such a great time, as it was her day off from work.  In my advance email, I said that I would not be bringing any foodpacks with me - not even for breakfast.  This is a first since last year. Porkchop is a fantastic cook and with two small children and a husband who can eat (because he is very athletic) what he likes, food is always in abundance. The whole visit had a holiday feel about it - I ate what I wanted and what I liked (which Porkchop had made specially for me!). But there was an unhealthy glee in my behaviour. I didn't go bonkers, I did exercise some delayed gratifcation - again - but I came away thinking I had not exercised full restraint.

Today I felt really lonely (I missed my friend) and ate to compensate - cheap Tesco sandwiches, to be precise.  No two ways about it.  I didn't do a thought record.  (I did, however, manage one earlier in the week.)  I didn't drink water.  I didn't sit down and think calm thoughts.  To be honest, I just didn't have the oomph to do any of the coping strategies.

There are, also, some alarms going off on my own personal radar.  I am noticing some unhelpful, vicious-cycle behaviours creeping back.

1) Avoidance of friends - as my weight has gone back up, I am feeling less inclined to see anyone other than extremely close friends.  The reason is two-fold: a) I am not feeling particularly sparkly at the moment and b) like Oprah, I am feeling embarrassed.  I used to do this sort of thing when I was much bigger - until I got so socially phobic, it was damaging my relationship with my husband.

2) Avoidance of the gym - rationally, I know that I am not as big as I have once been but I am feeling too fat to exercise right now.  This, of course, is completely self-defeating behaviour. Even a free gym, within spitting distance, is NOT ENOUGH of a motivation.

3) Avoidance of job interviews - yes.  There are many reasons for this - the work situation blew away my confidence, I am upset about the dog, upset about a few things but I know that my current size is holding me back.  I am using it as an excuse.  I don't want to fail at job interviews so I am not even trying.

Anyway, all of this brings to me my final point for tonight.  

The one person I know who has kept off the weight (almost 7 stone, I think, definitely 6+) she has lost - through LighterLife - (she still has some more to go but she has maintained for the whole of 2008 and beyond) has done three things:

1) she has gone to a LighterLife meeting every single week (with holiday and/or work commitments as the exceptions

2) she has gone to see a counsellor for almost two years (the counselling started at the same time as the diet) and finally,

3) she has gone to the gym from the onset of the diet.  

So, week in, week out, she has worked on mind, body and spirit.  It has been a priority in her life because she made it one.  And now the results are speaking for themselves.

The training has taken a long, long time to show but it is showing.  (BTW - the exercise 'high' still eludes me, Peridot!)  The counselling has given her coping strategies and the weekly meeting reminds her what's important.  She is NOT perfect, not at all and neither would she claim to be but the fact that she has maintained a significant weight loss deserves attention!

She has been doing these activities for almost two years.  Yep, two years.  Change can happen, it really can, but it takes time.

Comments

[Lesley]

I noticed the Oprah thing too and thought how much of a theme it has been round here recently - Jeanette, Shauna and several others.

I've also been thinking about class and how helpful I have found it over the last few weeks. Not just in dropping just over a stone but in re-centering myself. I've pledged to keep going next year as well.

Not sure about therapy. Hmmmm

Definitely exercise is a given. I have never given up on it entirely, I'm just not doing as much as I did at my height. I'm working on it though.

So, I think your three step programme is definitely the one for me too (although the therapy side of things for me might be more blogging than personal one-to-one counselling).

As usual you have been very astute to pick out the important message from what you are seeing around you. And to pass it on to others as well. Thanks Mrs.

Have a great Christmas and get back to that gym. You're never too fat for it and you're not fat!!!

Lesley xx

[Peridot]

Yes, I'm afraid I am part of that instant gratification generation. It's not a good club to be in!

I so empathise with the whole crawling back into your shell thing - I feel the same. I feel I can't even meet strangers' eyes - who aren't interested anyway, what arrogance!

I just wish I could crack this - the constant vigilence thing is exhasting. Not that I'm doing that at the moment but it seems that not only should I be, but that that level of proactivity will always have to be part of my life.

And much as I hate running (and you know I do!) I find that when I'm building more activity into my life it makes me more positive and more likely to make healthier choices. A sort of empowering thing. That's got to be worth dragging my sorry self out of bed at 6am - right? Cos it certainly isn't showing up externally! Heigh ho, let me know how you feel once you're in that groove.

love
Peridot x