10K here I come...

Don't get excited, I am not running a 10 km race!

I woke up this morning and thought about the fact that three weeks ago I was lying in a hospital bed, terrified (pre-surgery) and sick as a dog (post-op').  And very sore!  I thought about progress to date and whether I'm feeling better.

As I have mentioned, the whole thing really took it out of me and I've been waiting for that "wow, I feel great" feeling to return.  But it hasn't.

Some friends keep telling me to rest...properly - early to bed, blah blah blah.  Porkchop has told me to rest BUT get moving.  In a more concerted fashion.

What I have noticed is that the longer I feel below par, the more flat I feel - particularly emotionally and mentally.  So I am going to try an experiment.  I'm going to walk 10 km tomorrow. I have found a route that I can do, that's safe, and that will really help me see what I am capable of right now.  (My friend, Doodle, is doing the Moonwalk again, for the third time so she's inspiring me to walk, too.)

What I have also noticed is that the flatter I feel, the more I want to turn to food.  It's the same with being tired.  Yesterday, I was absolutely shattered and I know that in the past, I would have reached for sugar and caffeine to get me through.  A Starbucks double-blended Coffee Light Frapuccino really hits the spot with a double hit.  But I just can't go there anymore (not literally, obviously!!).  That would be far too dramatic!  But those halcyon days of frequenting coffee bars are diminishing...

I'm also super conscious that I am going to have to find a new way of eating.  For life!  There can be no, "it won't be like this forever" thoughts.   I can get back to the food I love soon enough!   This IS how I am going to have to be.

I'm weighing myself everyday and even though I don't feel physically very different, I have to make myself look in the mirror to remind myself that I do look different.  This is a really important point to make; my brain is saying "eat what you like, it doesn't matter" because, in the past, I have made it not matter.  But it's giving into those moments that means the weight will come back.  NOT overnight.  Not even over a couple of months (unless I really go for it) but it will come back if I don't remind myself that I am someone who can lose weight AND learn to keep it off.  I cannot allow myself to think that I can't do it, there's no point and it will never work!  

And that's the really hard bit, to be honest.

Comments

[Lesley]

I bet the walk helps and really blows away the cobwebs.

You WILL be the woman who learns to control her weight....we both will.

Lesley x

[Doodle]

How exciting to be inspiring....
Believe with Absolute Certainty you are succeeding in every area. Hope the walk was fabulous... We shall compare notes, but I know who has the shapely legs & it is NOT ME!!
xxx

[Peridot]

It's so true - this thing about 'rest of your life'. I've still got to get to that stage, after the lose the weight stage, but it's challenging stuff alright - physically and emotionally.

I bet the walk will help no end - I always find it very calming to be outside in the countryside and a bit of activity makes you feel happier and more energised.

Have a good weekend.

love
Peridot x

[Vanessa]

I find regular exercise really does moderate my appetite. Have a look for a book called, "The Science of Fat, the Future of Thin". There is a section in there that talks about why, from a physiology perspective, if you exercise more, you eat less. It has always stuck with me (although not so much that I can remember the science and repeat it for you now!).

The book is very interesting and very readable - she makes the science very accessible. I found it interesting to step back and look at weight from a less emotional place - it was a very different perspective for me. You might find it interesting as well.