Today I had another driving school moment. I was in the simulator and couldn't do the 'task', which was all about progressing. This is when you move from one gear to another, as you increase the speed of the car (or so I believe!). There was no progress being made, as the simulator's automatic voice kept telling me. I was either going too slowly OR I wasn't breaking smoothly enough OR the gear changes were wrong. Either way, I was not progressing.
Cue: anger and frustration followed by tears. But the tears only appeared when one of the lovely staff tried to help me. The tears were all about not being able to do it, not being able to drive... when everyone else can! Can you hear the whining from where you are?!
I think the practical side of driving is going to be a slow business (I have failed my manual test twice). I phoned my friend, Porkchop, and continued to sob down the phone, saying I hated driving and I'd never be able to do it. No, she reminded me, I do not hate driving, I hate having to learn to drive. The two things are very different. Aha!
Weight loss and weight maintenance are exactly the same. I'm getting to grips with the theory (apart from the driving in fog situations and what documents you need to get a tax disc versus insurance versus an MOT). But, in comparison, I can 'do' theory. Just like I know what to do about losing weight. And, if I am honest, I know what to do to maintain. I just choose NOT to do it. I am choosing NOT to learn how to maintain my weight in a practical way. I realised today it's because I'm worried I will fail. And while I am busy worrying I will fail (at maintaining weight), I am busy eating off piste - the driving equivalent would be having lots of mini crashes.
Never mind education, education, education or Location, Location, Location - it's got to be application, application, application.
After the tears on the simulator, I decided to halt the lessons until I have finished (and passed) my theory test. The two are not inter-dependent. My husband thought this was an excellent strategy; going on the simulator, particularly at a hormonally-challenged time, is "counter productive" he advised. Absolutely.
Eating off piste is exactly the same; it's totally counter productive and against what I am trying to achieve. So it's one step at a time. Even if they are teeny tiny steps. Just so I can progress!
Comments