The Lard Arms

BIG. LIFE. EVENTS.

How many of you find yourselves ramping up the food when big stuff happens?  I'm not talking about the all-day-snacking kind of situation, where you eat a bit of what you fancy, then switch flavours to counteract whatever it is you've just consumed.  You know the feeling - sweet following savoury or vice versa.  Or a long run on the sugar followed by a salty antidote!

Anyway, I've really noticed that when big life events come along, if they are stacked up, one after the other, I simply don't have the oomph required to get a grip on the eating.

When we lost our family dog earlier this year, I was following a VLCD - I was abstinent.  I felt those feelings, each and every one of them.  And boy did they hurt.  I thought, if I can do that, I can nail this. 'This' being my eating-in-crisis behaviour.

Fast forward to the summer and the mindset of containment is very much missing in action.  I can't seem to get myself back on the wagon.  I've stopped the booze.  Very important.  It just makes things harder to control on the food side and definitely, definitely makes my mood more maudlin after a while.

Big changes are happening this week and all I can do is eat.  I am also extremely tired (boring but true!) but a certain project is almost at a close so it's the big push to reach the summit, if you know what I mean. This is when even Kendal Mint Cake won't suffice.

Maybe once I can settle down and have a better routine, I can give the time and energy needed to get back to sensible eating.

In the meantime, thank you so much for fabulous comments this week, which have really made me laugh. Quite frankly, after the volumes consumed, I think a few days of 'air and deprivation' (see the Nimble post and comments) will be just what the doctor ordered.

Have a great weekend everyone and see you on the other side. xxxxxxx

Hmmm. Am I eating an endangered species? Are you?

I just got an email from Greenpeace, asking me if I was eating an endangered species.  Given that I really don't like fish, I would imagine the answer is no since my deviation from vegetarianism is restricted to chicken and the occasional (very occasional - as in fewer  than five) burger.

Anyway, here's what my campaigning chums tell me:

Bluefin tuna is an endangered species, and it's the oceanic equivalent of a tiger, rhino, or panda - yet it is still being served up as expensive sushi in restaurants. In London alone, there are dozens of venues serving up bluefin, although Nobu is probably the most high-profile culprit.

Funnily enough, I've been thinking about going back to being vegetarian.  It's a combination of things; first, ages ago, there was a post by Dietgirl that really got me yearning for proper veggie fodder.  There were lots of links to ace sites with yummy recipes on offer.  (And for the record, Shauna isn't vegetarian.) Second, I've been very affected by my friends being involved in battery farm chicken rescue (they are not militant - just giving hens a better life - and working, 100 per cent, with the farmers).  In fact, I have offered to volunteer myself - timetable permitting.  And that's when I started to feel really uneasy about eating chicken...  And finally, after going to Glastonbury, I just ate so well (well, let me rephrase that - I LOVED what I ate) and it was totally vegetarian.  There was so much choice.  My husband ensured, however, that he ate meat and that was fine with me.

So, I'm not making any declarations but it's on my mind.  Which means it will probably happen.  Four years ago, when I started the weight-loss malarkey for real, I started to crave low-fat protein sources.  And after decades, yes, decades of being flesh-free, I started with a fish.  Lemon sole, to be precise.  I phoned a friend for absolution.  I felt soooo guilty.  The chicken came months later.  I just felt my body crave it...

The burger didn't happen until last year.  After the miscarriage.  I went to Byron with a fellow LighterLifer - she said I needed red meat!  And I didn't argue.  I shocked myself.  And worried that this was the beginning of the end.  But it wasn't.  Even though I absolutely loved what I ate, I really did,  I still haven't had bacon - the vegetarian's downfall - or anything else.

I don't ever, ever lecture people on their food choices.  I just like to encourage them to make a choice that doesn't involve intensive farming.  So, if you're not a regular at Nobu, maybe you can sign the tuna pledge, too?  If you're interested, click here...

And, if you're not, that's OK, too.

Nimble

Today I saw a lonesome loaf of Nimble sitting - quite literally - in the middle of the street.  And a busy street at that - the main high street of the town.  It was as if someone had strategically placed it there - as a sign. Was it a sign to remind me to get my act together? After all, the carbathon continues and this weekend I mainly ate...toast.  If I had Nimble on my mind, I might have the slimmer's mindset, too!  Aha.

If I weren't in such a hurry - running for yet another train - I would have photographed it so that you could see for yourselves.   

I haven't eaten the rebranded bread for slimmers.  But the adverts of old are absolutely imprinted in my brain - conscious and sub- conscious.  

Remember this?

Here's a close up:

For me, Nimble will always be a Milk Roll (is that what it used to be called)? For those of you old enough to remember, it's may be a nostalgic moment.  

Only now I'm curious to know what the noughties Nimble tastes like....

Cottage Cheese with a Twist

I must admit I thought everything about the following product said...abomination!

But, amazingly, it was really tasty.  My husband chose it - he who is still on his many-trips-to-the-gym phase - and I was sooo dubious.  I shouldn't have doubted his purchasing power.  He has the ability to spot a tasty snack (many Glastonbury gems were located by him) at 50 paces.

So...for a low-fat and virtuous food WITH taste, you can't go wrong with:

Gourmet Dining - Glastonbury-style (warning: contains images of...food!)

Might as well start as I mean to go on.  Eating at Glastonbury turned out be a suprisingly enjoyable experience - totally carb-tastic - but that was, in part, because I was vegetarian for the whole time.  And I really enjoyed eating the foods I used to eat as my staple diet but they are definitely not going to be part of the long-term plan IF I want to get back down to a healthy BMI and maintain.

But but but...for five days...I thoroughly indulged and it was fantastic.  It's also worth noting that we were on the move from dawn to dusk (well, a variation of those hours!).  Nothing can prepare you for the physical assault that is Glastonbury.  There is a lot of walking, walking, walking and standing and...can you believe it?  My husband lost weight!

Day 2 - Vegetarian Breakfast for one - which we shared...

Day 2 - a light snack (!) - the most utterly divine quesadillas

Day 3 - more carbs, mayo and some salad - veggie burger number 1

Day 3 - patatas bravas - with even more mayo...

Day 5 - veggie breakfast with eggs cooked to order

If Glastonbury Heaven exists... here it is:

Just a few nachos...

Gone!  Hoovered in a few minutes (shamefully).  But everything was so fresh. And so yummy.

Noodles and Tempura (with authentic mud on boots)

The carb-fest continued with the Italian...

 

Pasta and garlic bread - eaten very late one night

We decided to try the Blue Moon fries...

Sadly...slightly disappointing but another carb-loaded snack that got demolished.

The Gluttony of Grief...

...has replaced the gluttony of fear.  

Yes, I have had a week-long foray into eating what the hell I wanted.  Can you hear the rebellious tone in that sentence?

Ironically, on the day itself - the day I lost my dog - I couldn't eat and my husband had to remind me. When we came back from the pet crem, I was so tired, I didn't know what to do with myself.  I had slept in the car on the way home. What I should have done was go straight to bed.  What I did, instead, was stay up, eat food I didn't really want and drink to suppress the tsunami of grief that was threatening to break over me...at any moment.  

Monday crept into Tuesday and the hours and minutes were punctuated by snacking, snacking, snacking. Anything to numb the pain.  I couldn't bring myself to speak to anyone because that would make it real.  So I 'spoke' only virtually, which left even more time to eat.  And drink.  Tuesday swayed into Wednesday and by Thursday I was just existing and suppressing anything that was stopping time marching forward.  

I am usually so careful about my alcohol consumption but my brain has just decided to say f*ck it, anytime my conscience decides to voice concern.

On Saturday, I went to a wedding.  It was informal, with friends but still I found myself craving a drink. To stop me feeling those feelings.  Bad, bad, bad.

So, yet again, another year has become another year of extremes - no real food for months and then gluttony unchecked until my poor body is bursting at the seams.  Literally.

The whole point of me doing all the head work was to prevent situations like this, where eating is masking all sorts of other things.  If I am busy eating, in my spare moments, I don't have to think.  And dwell.  I can just distract myself endlessly.

I am hoping this week will give me some much needed time to put some space between me and food. Doesn't it sound like a relationship gone wrong?  Well, in truth, it is.

Imagine the worst boyfriend/relationship that you can ever have - one that is soooo bad for you that even one sighting of him can set you back months.  Well, that's exactly what has happened to me.  Once given some flexibility, my willpower just runs wild.

Right now, I don't know which is worse; the physical sensation of having pushed so much food into my system that it can't take any more or the fact that I really do have the no dog/no baby blues.  Hmmm.  It's a tough call.

Heartbroken for the Hound

Hello Friends

Every time I post on here, of late, it's with tales of woe.  And today is just the same.  On Monday I lost my gorgeous girl.  You can imagine the pain.  

I just can't write much on here right now but normal business will resume shortly.  Here she was, just two weeks ago in the garden.