Greetings, readers, if you're still here.
Apologies for the silence; it just hasn't felt right. It's been a turbulent period for all sorts of reasons and now I'm left wondering what's left to offer via this blog.
I've put on lots of weight and I would just feel fraudulent if I pretended otherwise. I'm brilliant at giving advice but pretty rubbish at following my own counsel.
The motivation for losing weight was to try to get pregnant, pure and simple. And that hasn't happened. Instead, I'm facing a very big bill (or financial hit) for all the attempts and time I took trying to get pregnant and stay pregnant. And I found out my weight was nothing to do with our situation, anyway!
The weight loss was very real - I can't believe it's almost 3 years since I started LighterLife - but somehow I didn't manage to sustain that loss. Each and every time I had a personal setback, I would turn to food. And there is definitely a moment when the pounds drift into stones and then it all starts to feel pretty pointless anyway.
The one thing I will say is that Potatoes Not Prozac WAS making a significant difference (and improvement) in my mood. Absolutely. So I know that it's a chemistry thang, too. My concern with the regime was that I was putting on weight with it but then I went completely the other way and started having a lot of sugar in my diet and wham! The scales went even higher. Hmm, a salutary lesson all round.
Ultimately, I learnt a couple of very valuable lessons. Tiredness is a major factor; if I get overtired, my diet (just the day-to-day stuff) gets completely disrupted. And I compensate with sugar as a false energy. Sugar also suppresses my mood.
When I started this blog, I really was very hopeful. I was hopeful about trying to have a family of our own, living in family home that we created and starting a new life after leaving London. Now, we are going to be selling our house, my gorgeous doggy has gone to the big kennel in the sky and there are no children of our own on the horizon. Last year I was hopeful about resurrecting my career and then ended in disaster.
I have started doing voluntary work and during my birthday weekend, I celebrated by helping others. It was the only way I could deal with being in this situation. And I feel I have a lot to offer.
There are lots of wonderful things in my life, which I appreciate. But this year has turned out to be harder than I thought (some of which I can't write about) and some very painful lessons along the way. Not just for me but for loved ones close to me.
I probably won't update the blog again but I sincerely hope that it has helped some people, particularly those embarking on the weight loss journey. It IS worth it; it really is. I just don't happen to feel that way right now.
Thank you for reading, commenting and being a great support along the way. I wish you all success and happiness in your own journeys.
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