Game Over

Greetings, readers, if you're still here.

Apologies for the silence; it just hasn't felt right.  It's been a turbulent period for all sorts of reasons and now I'm left wondering what's left to offer via this blog.

I've put on lots of weight and I would just feel fraudulent if I pretended otherwise.  I'm brilliant at giving advice but pretty rubbish at following my own counsel.

The motivation for losing weight was to try to get pregnant, pure and simple.  And that hasn't happened. Instead, I'm facing a very big bill (or financial hit) for all the attempts and time I took trying to get pregnant and stay pregnant.  And I found out my weight was nothing to do with our situation, anyway!

The weight loss was very real - I can't believe it's almost 3 years since I started LighterLife - but somehow I didn't manage to sustain that loss.  Each and every time I had a personal setback, I would turn to food.  And there is definitely a moment when the pounds drift into stones and then it all starts to feel pretty pointless anyway.

The one thing I will say is that Potatoes Not Prozac WAS making a significant difference (and improvement) in my mood.  Absolutely.  So I know that it's a chemistry thang, too.  My concern with the regime was that I was putting on weight with it but then I went completely the other way and started having a lot of sugar in my diet and wham!  The scales went even higher.  Hmm, a salutary lesson all round.

Ultimately, I learnt a couple of very valuable lessons.  Tiredness is a major factor; if I get overtired, my diet (just the day-to-day stuff) gets completely disrupted.  And I compensate with sugar as a false energy.  Sugar also suppresses my mood.

When I started this blog, I really was very hopeful.  I was hopeful about trying to have a family of our own, living in family home that we created and starting a new life after leaving London.  Now, we are going to be selling our house, my gorgeous doggy has gone to the big kennel in the sky and there are no children of our own on the horizon.  Last year I was hopeful about resurrecting my career and then ended in disaster.  

I have started doing voluntary work and during my birthday weekend, I celebrated by helping others.  It was the only way I could deal with being in this situation.  And I feel I have a lot to offer.

There are lots of wonderful things in my life, which I appreciate.  But this year has turned out to be harder than I thought (some of which I can't write about) and some very painful lessons along the way.  Not just for me but for loved ones close to me.

I probably won't update the blog again but I sincerely hope that it has helped some people, particularly those embarking on the weight loss journey.  It IS worth it; it really is.  I just don't happen to feel that way right now.

Thank you for reading, commenting and being a great support along the way.  I wish you all success and happiness in your own journeys.

Comments

[Vanessa]

I'm so sorry to hear that you're leaving the blogging world. I've really enjoyed your writing and 'getting to know you' and hearing about your life in England (somewhere I've always wanted to live).
But I can understand having a crappy year and needing to retreat to figure it all out. Take care of yourself and know what we're all cheering for you.
Please let me know if you ever start blogging again (or if you want an email pal from Washington).
Take care.

[Kathleen]

Hi there,

Rather than giving up, I wonder if this might be the time to really understand what happened. You have lots of people who are interested in your story. You have been gritty and honest..and I think this is simply a stop along the journey, not a failure.

You don't have to figure this out alone, Vanessa. I actually totally understand what is happening and I can guide you with a solution if you like.

kathleen

[Lesley]

Ey up chuck - I was just thinking about getting in touch and checked your blog and here you are. I wondered if stepping back was what you were thinking about.

You take care Mrs L - you are very special and I'm sure you have a bright and happy future just around the corner.

As you have said to me on so many occasions - Big Kiss!!

Lesley xx

[Peridot]

Every day I check your blog, hoping for news. If you do decide not to continue, you really will leave a big hole in all your readers' lives - certainly in mine. It is of course your decision so I just want to say that I really hope things improve for you and that next year is much better for you than this has been. I'd love it if you stay in touch (you have my email) and I'll check in here from time to time in the hope that there's news.

love
Peridot x

[Fionna Devine]

I've been checking your blog every day hoping to hear from you. Lovely suprise when I found you were back but I now seem to have got a bit emotional hearing that you are "leaving" !!
I hope that everything works out for you and things start to improve in your life. Please let me know if you ever start to blog again.

love Fionna xx

[Lesley]

It's strange, I still check your blog just in case. I miss you!!

Lesley x

[Fionna Devine]

same here..!!

Fionna

[Sarah (mia79gbr)]

Am still checking your blog. Hope everything is going well.
x Sarah

[slimmerbridezilla]

Just thought I'd check for the millionth time - Miss you and hope you are ok xxx