The Lard Arms

Myopia - my year of short-sightedness

I am short-sighted.  Literally.  Without contact lenses or glasses, everything around me is a big blur.  With them, I can see clearly.  

Nothing earth shattering in that.  Except it describes 2008 perfectly.

As regular readers will know, I've had computer problems this year.  I am lucky; I have a laptop and desktop (objects of beauty, as they are Macs!) but they have both suffered malfunctions of a serious nature. At one point, they were both out of action, which was serious.  Both machines are 'vintage' according to the guys at the Genius Bar (where you go to get your stuff fixed at an Apple store) so they need TLC.  And maintenance. I have feared the worst several times at the Genius Bar and felt sick but several hundred pounds later (new software, new hardware) both machines are back in action.  And it's down to me to keep them functioning.  Not unlike my own body, to be honest!

Anyway, part of the overhaul has included the photo library merger of the Big Mac and the Little Mac, as I like to call them.  If I tell you that the laptop had almost 6,000 (yes, six thousand) photos on it, 90% of which belong to the past 18 months, you can see there were plenty of memories to trawl through.  (The Big Mac photo library now has 22,000 photos in it.  Yikes!)

And here's the thing, there were some lovely moments captured on camera - the allotment, the time with loved ones, the meeting of new special people, the garden - as well as the cr*p things.  But what have I remembered?  The miscarriage, the job at the call centre (just the horrible bits!), the new big job (bad, bad, bad in every way!), the commuting, the living apart from my husband thanks to his job, the dogs' cancers, the cat's sudden illness and death.

PastaQueen wrote beautifully about this very subject: 

"So many pictures. So many ways to remember the past".  Exactly.

Part of this weight loss (and maintenance, eventually!) stuff HAS to include the mental stuff.  My brain is busy telling me how rubbish I am, in every way and, to date, I've eaten to zone out.  From the voices in my head.  From life.  From feeling.  Anything.

But if something has to change right now, it's the way I see things.  Right, where is the mental equivalent of a new pair of specs?

Happy Crunch-mas!

Credit crunch?

Stomach crunch?

Crunch-ie?

Well, it's officially Christmas because we have arrived in Devon for the festivities (after hosting for two years).  It will be a bittersweet affair; I packed my dog's bits and pieces, including one of her leads and one of her beds because I don't think she'll be coming home anytime soon.  If at all.

BUT after such a rubbish year, I have decided that humour is the way forward.  Yes, it is!

I popped into my mother's office to discover that the rowing machine is well hidden under some files. It just made me smile.

So, I want to wish everyone FESTIVE FUN; if you eat too much, don't beat yourself up.  If you don't, congratulate yourself.

Just ensure that you enjoy everything that passes your lips this Christmas.

See you all on the other side!